Just Like Overeating, Bad Money Habits Can Be Changed – There’s an APP!

Losing weight and keeping it off has always been tough. But bad spending habits can be just as challenging and destructive. Now there are Apps like Urge or Make a Habit, Break a Habit (see below) to make it easier to stay on track with behavior changes.

What kind of bad money habits do you have?  Are you an unconscious spender or compulsive shopper? Do you go to the mall and two hours later have bags of purchases and you can't remember what exactly you paid for them?  Are you a secret shopper? And, I don’t mean the kind that’s hired by Safeway to check up on their customer service. I mean do you sneak your purchases home when your husband is busy and hide them so you don’t feel guilty, or get grilled? Do you struggle to maintain a budget or is budget a word you haven’t yet acquainted yourself with?

Changing our habits is not for the weak willed. We need help. Like poor spending habits, food, weight and exercise habits have been particularly tough to change long term. But Behavorial Modification programs are getting positive attention again and are based on making small incremental changes that build progress over time. You may be surprised to know that Weight Watchers is basically a behavorial modification program and it’s one of the most effective.

For those of you that have a money problem there are apps like Lose It, or Make a Habit, Break a Habit which lets users choose the behavior they’d like to change, like shopping less, or Urge, which “prompts users to hold off on impulse purchases to hit budgeting goals.”

These Apps are exciting, cool and they work because they improve on the principles of good ol’ 12 Step Programs – support, feedback, slow steady changes and the good feelings that come with healthy change.  (The Perfected Self by David H Freedman, The Atlantic June 2012)

“I’m Mad As Hell – About The Price of College”

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore,” is the famous quote from the 1976 movie "Network" starring Peter Finch. That phrase incited audiences to take action! Boy, do we need action now!!

Here's my question: What is it going to take for people to get angry enough to keep the pressure on our legislators about the ever increasing and inflationary price of college?

The New York Times had an article last weekend about college grads who have over $100,000 of debt, can’t find a job in their field and are working for $8.00 an hour with payments of $800.00 a month.  Do you know how long it will take that young person to pay off $100,000 debt? Right - basically forever.

And, of course, unlike working adults who get into too much debt, student loans can’t be defaulted on without serious consequences. So the trap has been set.  Are we as a nation deliberately handicapping our college students with overwhelming debt just like their parents were set up by credit card companies? We see how well the super consumerism backed of the 90s created bankruptcies in the millions, homes lost, savings devastated and lifestyles changed irrevocably. And, yes, being a Certified Money Coach and a therapist, I think personal responsibility is a must, but there's a responsibility that needs to be borne by the banking and financial institutions as well!

In order to maintain a middle class we have to keep public education available at reasonable rates. Pay particular attention to the privatizing of colleges which have astromonically escalated the cost of a college education!!  Enough – Get Angry and Take Constructive Action for your children and grandchildren now!! I'm curious what you think - how is the rising cost of a college education affecting your ability to send your children to college?

Women in Business: Are you a Financial Innocent? April is Financial Literacy Month

April is Financial Literacy month – time to pull your head out of the sand and plunge into learning about your relationship with Money. Not just the numbers – how much you make or what you spend - butwhat goes on with your thinking and your feelings about money.

Inside you is the answer to why you keep repeating the same old money mistakes over and over again. Here are some money mistakes women make: Overspending, Not paying your bills on time even though you have the money, Financially enabling others and not taking care of yourself, or a big one for women in business; Not charging enough!!

You may be like I used to be: I hated thinking about money. But, I had an awakening when I went through the training to become a Certified Money Coach.*  I found out exactly why I had the challenges with money I’d had since young adulthood. Yes, it did have to do with the way my parents handled their money. Not their fault, their parents had influenced them as well, and I was still responsible for the choices I made. But once I connected the dots and became conscious, I was able to make better financial decisions and to create less stress and more financial peace. That’s huge!! .  (*Certified through Deborah Price & The Money Coaching Institute)  Next time: Find out What The Money Types Mean and how each type shows up in your Money Life.

Why Are Only 8% of Women Ready for Retirement?

Women control 51% of the wealth in America. I was shocked and pleased to hear that and yet many, many women I talk with aren't planning soon enough or saving anywhere enough for retirement. Instead what I observe is that women often don't want to think about retirement. And, while I understand, retirement going to be here sooner than we'd like to imagine.

Women are working very hard in their businesses, caring for their children, their families (including elderly parents). Who has the time to consider and plan how to make their money work for them?  When I'm coaching women in business I assess how much income they're earning, if they feel they're charging enough (often not), how their spending is, the amount of debt they are carrying and whether they have a 401(k) or other investment vehicle. 

Here are three things women need to do. And remember: "A man is not an retirement plan."Deborah Price, Money Magic

1) Just Start an investment account. The earlier the better. "For the first time, women in the work force full time are just as likely to have access to a 401(k) as men and their participation rate is as high as we've seen." Catherine Collinson, president, Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies. (Modesto Bee 2-5-2012)

2) Know what you'll need to replace your income in retirement and maintain your lifestye. Google retirement calculator, pick one and plug in social security, other income and expenses. This exercise is not as fun as going shopping, but when you're 75 and either don't want to work or are unable to, all those shoes or beauty products you're buying today aren't going to keep you warm or add to your income. But the $50.00 a automatically deducted each and every month can and will.

3) Take more risks. Women don't often take investment risks. I'm financially conservative myself, yet we want our money to work as hard for us as we've worked to obtain it. Women still only earn 78 cents on the dollar compared to men. We take time off to have children or caretake others. The really savvy women I know do take calculated risks. One of my friends has been a real estate investor for 30 years and built quite a retirement fund for herself. Here's to you taking charge of your money today so it works for you tomorrow!!

Women - Get Your Money House In Order

Money is power and women are taught to be nice, not powerful. Really. Think about that. From the time we're little girls we're taught to think about others and to override our own feelings for the sake of someone else's. Boys are taught to win and compete and they feel very comfortable with that. Personally, I believe we women can be powerful AND nice.

In order to get your Money House in Order first identify one or two mistakes you've been making with money. Here are a few to pick from. Try to be objective and don't blame yourself. The powerful stance is to take responsibility, learn from our mistakes and make new decisions to take new action this coming year.

Mistakes Women Make with Money:

1) Spend Unconsciously: Piddle money away on things like Starbucks, another pair of shoes, fast food.

Money House in Order Power Tip:  Get a small notebook or on a SmartPhone use the Note function and track every single expenditure over the next 30 days. Eye-opening. 

2) Take Care of Others Before Take Care of Self Financially: How many times have you (to be nice) given money to your adult children, boyfriends, partners, parents, people in need rather than save more of it for your future?  

Money House in Order Power Tip: Consider that most women don't have enough money to live comfortably in retirement, especially single women. Give, but give consciously and sometimes giving to adult children is financial enabling and hurts rather than truly helps.  

3) Overspend or Overshop to Cope with Anxiety, Stress or Just Because:  Women waste so much money on things they don't need. "A need is replacing something that's worn out. A want is everything else." ( Peggy Gardiner, Professional Organizer)  It's fun to shop. I get it. But, stay conscious of the immediate pleasure vs. how your money needs to work for you over the long term.

Money House in Order Power Tip: If you tend to shop when feeling anxious or stressed take a PAUSE to think rather than shop out of habit. During this pause take 10 breaths.  Ask yourself - what do I really need? Time, relaxation, listening to, fun, pleasure?  What are other ways I can satisfiy this? How much can I really afford to spend? What's the most powerful thing I can do with this money?  

Here's to you getting your money house in order and as a result feeling and being more powerful with your financial choices.  Remember, you can be nice and powerful.  

Big Girl ACTION: 

1)  For fun, take the Money Type Quiz to find out whether you’re a Warrior Money Type – focused and disciplined or possibly a Fool – happy-go-lucky, not necessarily good at paying the bills.  Lynn offers a FREE 15 minute results phone consult. 

Overspending and Overeating – Can You Ever Get Enough?

Overspending and Overeating: Can you ever get enough? No, not to "make you happy, except temporarily." Did you overspend or overeat during the Holidays? More than usual? Are you not surprised to learn that these two behaviors often go together in the same female? “Compulsive shopping or spending can be a seasonal balm for the depression, anxiety and lonelineness during the December holiday season.”(Professor Ruth Engs, RN, EdD, Indiana University)

We may laugh at the term Shopoholics, and it was treated lightly in the movie by the same name. But overspending, like overeating, can be as serious a problem as any of the “isms” such as alcoholism. How much is enough when it comes to spending and eating and what exactly are we trying to accomplish with our indulgences? Pick your answer: To be social, to have fun, to avoid or distract ourselves from uncomfortable feelings, to feel better? The first two choices can be guilt free, the third one gets us in trouble because it works only temporarily. Then? We compulsively repeat the behavior, hoping to feel better, or to get high, to avoid all those uncomfortable feelings that come up in life.

Gently ask yourself these questions. They’re meant to help you understand more about your eating and spending:

Did you throw all rules for how much to eat or a spending budget out the window and really overindulge? If so, are you feeling guilt or remorse? Or wondering how to get back on track? Do you have other ways to soothe uncomfortable feelings that don’t have a downside – such as exercise, talking to a friend who’ll tell you the truth, journaling, yoga, a coach or counselor?

Overeating and overspending are behaviors that often go together. Here are suggestions to start the New Year off right, get back on track and have a more conscious Holiday season in 2012:

1)    Gently take responsibility for the overindulgences: Tally up the weight gain and amount of money owed.

2)    Make a realistic plan – A) How much weight am I going to lose by what date? 1 pound a week is realistic – avoid drastic diet loss programs – they don’t work long term. B) What amount of money can I put toward paying off my credit cards each month? C) How will I hold myself accountable? For weight – have an accountability partner, join Weight Watchers or Food Addicts Anonymous? For debt – take a financial awareness course like Dave Ramsey, or speak with a money coach (like myself). 

3)    Understand that the drivers of compulsivity are often feelings. Feelings of anxiety, depression, STRESS that are normal parts of life. Learn to go into those feelings safely, preferably daily. An easy to use guide is TARA (Touch, Accept, Release, Action) available as a FREE download at www.coachingmodesto.com on right side of page. (from Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom 2009)  

Money Fears – 4 Tips for How to Accept, Release & Feel Better Now!

Psychology Today contributor Joan DiFuria, who writes a column called Affluence Intelligence, states that in 2000 Silicon Valley was birthing 64 millionaires a day. Today? Not many. A decade ago, we were so affluent that a new term “Sudden Wealth Syndrome” was coined. Yet, we also realized that wealth doesn’t necessarily make one happy. But as Woody Allen says, “It’s better than poverty.”

We’re just as obsessed with money these days, but it’s fear and anxiety about not having enough money. We have fear about losing our job, fear about ever finding a job again. Fear about paying the bills, and for some, fear about having enough to eat. And, of course this month, anxiety about Christmas!!

Fear is as much a contagion as the flu. It spreads through the air getting absorbed through the pores of the skin and inhaled into the lungs. Before you know it, the anxiety of those around you has permeated your world. Their worry becomes your worry. Every time the news broadcasts a new financial disturbance in the world, it adds to your sense of pending doom. You may feel disoriented, off-center, unsure of yourself. What can you do?

First, realize that fear is an emotion fueled by our thoughts. It’s not necessarily the truth. We either increase the power fear has over us by focusing on it and following the awful spiral downward or we use strategies to break the cycle and support more neutral or positive thinking.  Rick Hanson, author of The Buddha Brain states that the brain is Velcro for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive. By its very nature, the way we think tends to be negative and critical. So, let’s give ourselves a break and take action to feel better.

Here are 4 Strategies I use and teach to shift to quickly feel better. 1) First, just acknowledge the feeling briefly. “I’m angry, sad, depressed, etc.”  2) Breathe INTO the feeling with an attitude of “Come on in,” for about 90 seconds. Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, a neuroscientest who rebuilt her brain after a stroke, "says it takes only 90 seconds of feeling the emotion caused by a negative event before the body finishes processing its stress.” 3) Re-focus your thoughts onto more positive events and this is where the old “What are you grateful for comes in.”  List 3 things you’re grateful for. And, this is my favorite: 4) Laugh – for 90 seconds. Come on – In the car or when you get up in the morning. You’ll probably start off feeling like a dork, but try it, you’ll be amazed.  None of these strategies change the situation you’re facing, but they change how you feel and think so you can cope better!!

Women: 5 Steps to Get Money House in Order

If you're self-employed, an entrepreneur or career oriented you've got to get your money house in order.  I know, I know, it's nearly Christmas and you're crazy busy. But, I want to plant an important business seed for 2012 because it'll be here in ten seconds.  

In order to make the most money, have less stress, and achieve your full potential (financial is part of that) and have fun along the way, here are 5 Money things you need to do in 2012.*

1) Get Your Money House in Order:  Assess what's working well financially and what the challenges are. For example, let's start with the basics.  Are you making enough money? No? What do you think/feel are the 3 main reasons for this? Be careful about blaming the economy. I know it's a factor, but I also know many businesses that are booming - mine included.

2)  Know your Money Story: Especially if you're struggling to get to the next level financially and you keep bumping up against the same obstacle or stuck place. I can guarantee you that there's a hidden emotional piece in your history. Yesterday, while going through The Money History with a client, she realized that her "make do and settle" pattern came from resistance to becoming like her mother. A huge ah-ha.

3) Write down your goals for 2012. If you're self-employed and you have a goal of earning $25,000 or $50,000 net income a year, how many clients will it take each week and month to bring in that amount of money. The more specific you are (a spreadsheet is handy) the easier it will be to achieve. Look at your goals each day, visualize the end result as if it's already happened. Then take action each and every day.

4) Realize that you have a RELATIONSHIP with money. As Suze Orman says and I'm paraphrasing: "Women don't show the same care to their relationship with money, as with other relationships, because they have a dysfunctional relationship with money. What are your money dysfunctions: Overspending, debt, avoiding, underearning, not respecting your money so you don't take good care of it?  Identify THE major dysfunction and conquor it this year.

 5) Grow your Wealth: One of the biggest money mistakes I see women make (and I used to also) is to not grow their wealth. Women give too much time, energy and MONEY away to others - primarily children. If they don't they feel guilty. More money comes to us as we learn to respect it, take care of it, grow it. If you haven't started a retirement account or savings account (for emergencies - $1,000 minimum) make it a goal to start this year.

 *If you're in Modesto or close by check out my 2012 4 hour Business Strategy Session for Women). I do this workshop every year and at the end we do a Vision Board with your Goals and Action Steps for 2012)

The Lizard Brain on Money: Why More $$ Is Never Enough

When does the "gotta have it- want it now" lizard brain run over the rational, logical neocortex when it comes to how much money is enough?  When the drug of "more is better" is fed over and over again with repetition.  Dr. Peter C. Whybrow, author of "When More Is Not Enough," and chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), connects the dots between the world economic meltdown and the ancient lizard brain that hoards for a rainy day. He states that even when there is an abundance of food and goods, the reptilian brain still acts as though there is deprivation.  Michael Lewis, author of Boomerang, in a recent Vanity Fair article points to an interesting piece of trivia: overlay a color-coded map that highlights American personal credit over the Center for Disease Control’s map for obesity and you get a similar pattern.  No big surprise there - overindulgence in one area of our life slips over into other areas.*(from http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/339566/lizard-brains-and-financial-crises).

As an addiction specialist what I know from 20+ years in the addiction field, hundreds of clients and research for Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom, is that whatever we repetively do trains the brain, either positively or negatively. As Dr. Whybrow says, "If you follow the path of self-indulgence often enough, eventually you will lose the ability to self-regulate, (which is) a higher brain function."  

In simple language that means that in times of plenty the reptilian or lizard brain doesn't know how to adjust it's hoarding instincts.  Addiction anyone? I look at addiction as a continuum. At one end of the continuum are those of us in American culture that have no addictions and the other end are those whose lives are completely unmanageable with their addictions. These are the folks who have major financial, relational or health problems because of their addictions. Most of us lie somewhere in between and we still have choice.

I think the world financial crisis has the potential to awaken us to not only the mistakes we've made with money but to change the addictive beliefs that MORE will make us happy. Research shows that's an illusion and that once basic needs are met, more does not increase lasting happiness. Instead, to get the reactive lizard brain under control we need to face our fears, figure out how much is enough, and practice the discipline of daily right action. 

Women: Are You a Compulsive Spender?

Are You a Compulsive Spender?    

Take this short quiz to see if you are a compulsive spender:

1) Do you shop, (in stores or on the net) to escape feeling stressed**, bored, lonely, empty, defeated, angry or scared?

2) After a setback or disappointment, does it feel like spending money will help you feel better? (It does, temporarily.)

3) Does your shopping or spending create conflicts for you, or between you and others?

4) When you shop or buy something, does your mood change?

5) Are you unable to enjoy your purchases because you feel guilty or bad?

If you answered YES to any of these you may be using money or shopping as a way to regulate your feelings or self-esteem.

First of all, good for you for taking time to get honest. Have you tried any of these to change your behavior? Promised to never overspend again to a spouse or yourself? Cut up your credit cards? One woman froze hers. That’s a pretty good in-between strategy and works similarly to not keeping sweets in the house when dieting. This slows down or creates a pause for that impulsive feeling of "gotta have it" and I mean right now!

But creating superficial limitations are bandaids on spending problems. The real solution comes from dealing with the feelings that are driving the behavior and by being willing to explore your relationship with money.

Try this:  Next time you want to shop put the PAUSE BUTTON** into effect and check in with yourself before you go shopping. Ask: Am I stressed, bored, or anxious?  If so, about what?  Notice where the feelings are – belly, head, heart? Then take 10 deep breaths and with each exhale imagine breathing out the uncomfortable feelings, and decide if you want to shop or not, and try to stay conscious of how much your budget allows.  Next Step: Learn how your early money story helps to create your money mindset with a Free chapter from my eCourse: Prosperity Power and Peace Click Here

Wall Street Bankers Raped World Money System

The definition of rape is usually associated with a woman being physically forced to have sex. However, it is also "an act of plunder, violent seizure or abuse; as in the rape of the countryside," or in this case the rape of our world money system. Though hundreds around the world invested in the credit default swap market, 15 Hedge Fund managers went ALL IN and placed enormous bets that American finance would go up in flames. In other words they bet that the easy finance house of cards bank created would collapse and they could cash in. That's exactly what happened. Even though these financiers were betting against us, a few tried to warn Bear Stearns and later the goverrnements about what was coming.  But, the ostrich phenomenon kept everyone from listening, or most importantly, taking action, until it was too late.

The very sad and still scary part of this story is that the fall is far from over. The world economy has never had the kind of debt it now has. For example: in 2002 world debt went from $84 trillion to $195 trillion. To give you some understanding of the numbers: Ireland's debts were more than 25X it's tax revenues. Spain and France 10X annual tax revenues. No where to go financially but down. Iceland, (I'll blog separately about the lessons from that country) ended up with debts amounting to 850% of their GDP. The U.S. 350%.  Yow!!

If you haven't understood what exactly happened to put the money world in the predicament we're in, then read Michael Lewis' "Boomerang." He concisely explains the series of events that led us to the precipice we're on. Events that were predicted back in 2004. Here's a quick summary: In 2004 Wall Street created the credit default swap which enabled investors to bet against the price of any given bond - to "short" it. This is like default insurance on another person's investment. 

The Solution to our world financial crisis? No one really knows. But it's interesting that the "Occupy Wall Street" Marches have sprung up and people are waking up to the fact that SOMETHING different needs to occur with our financial system and the way corporations plunder while everyday folks suffer the effects. What do you think?

Can You Ever Be Too Rich or Too Thin?

"You can never be too rich or too thin."  Babe Paley, 1950s socialite 

Did you know that wealth and weight issues are often tangled together for women? 

Women will go to extreme measures to look good and spend thousands of dollars over a lifetime on diet products, clothes and shoes and justify the expense for reasons that vary from:  "I have to look good for work," to "I'm working so hard I deserve this." By the way, that same justification works for food as well as shopping. Some women shop (or eat or restrict eating) to fill time because they're bored, or for the adrenalin high that comes with shopping anticipation.

These are not bad or wrong behaviors or feelings but they only work temporarily to make you feel better and they can dilute your power and productivity. 

Weight and money issues are self-esteem issues. Insecurity and the advertising industry drive the multi billion dollar dieting industry, pressure women to have more clothes than they can wear, purchase designer bags and shoes, and develop wasteful spending habits. I'm not saying it's not fun to spend money, but to take charge of our money women need to be very MINDFUL of what the energy it takes to earn money and where their money goes. 

Here are some questions to think about:

    Guesstimate how much you've spent in your lifetime on dieting books, videos, products. (Don't include gym memberships you actually use for health or fitness).

    What's your annual budget for clothes?  If you don't have a budget or know how much you spend you need to.  Guesstimate  how much you really spend each year on clothes, purses, shoes, jewelry.  How much of this is is a need or a want?  How much of the dieting or spending is to distract yourself from anxiety or emotional upset?  Remember what Peggy Gardiner, the Organizer said:  A shopping need is to replace something worn out, a want is anything else.  (I think that's a little stringent, but good to think about.) I hope this fuels some thinking & discussion.

If you're in business for yourself how much do you invest each year on education, self-improvement, business or financial education compared to what you spend on dieting or clothing?  Be honest and gentle.