Winter Money Blues? Zip Right Out of Them!

Winter Money Blues? Zip Right Out of Them! Whether you're business women, or stay at home moms, it's the third dreary, cold, gray week of January. Christmas bills are coming in, the budget was blown, the spending high of December long forgotten and tax time is right around the corner. No wonder January is the longest month of the year.

Remember, we nearly always survive January anyway, but here's how to speed up the financial peace process.

1) Give yourself 1 hour or 1 day (depending on your needs) to REALLY feel the sadness, depression, angst of your situation. Moan, groan, complain, vent, cry, yell.  Go into it and when that allotted time is complete - move on.

2) Financially Assess where you're at:  Pull your ostrich head out of wherever it's been and take stock. Look at all the bills, count up the money owed, make a list of what's due, when.

3) Make decisions. You've got the list of money coming in and bills due. What's the loudest bill? What can you pay on it. Go down the list. Prioritize.

4) Send the payments. No matter how few or how small, actually sending the payments out feels good.  

5) Congratulate yourself - Ta-Dah. "I did it."  Call a friend and share. Feel good about the progress rather than always striving for perfection.  There now -  it's nearly February!

As a woman in business, who is also a Certified Money Coach, I know what it's like to struggle with money and how good it feels to take charge.  Financial peace and health come with focus, prioritizing and persistence. Here's to you!

How Much Money Is Enough for Peace?

A friend of mine has a saying, “If you want to know what you believe, look at what you’re experiencing.” So true. But many of us don’t want to look at what we believe or how we behave with money because we’re afraid of what we might find. And, we often don’t have a safe way of doing so. That’s where money coaching is helpful.

What we believe affects how much money we make, manage or or build for the future. For example, the overspender justifies her purchases with excuses - “Well, I’m not spending that much, I only shop at the dollar store.” The avoider doesn’t look at his bank account balance, or save for retirement because it’s too far away to feel real.

Our core money beliefs are ingrained deeply within. We have  we’ve stopped asking WHY we need to work so hard or acquire money.  But what money means to us is a key question to understand. Kansas State University and the Klontz Consulting Group show that How much money is enough for you? That’s a question I ask when giving presentations and the answer tends to be twice what they’re currently earning. When they reach that next goal? The new goal is – you see where we’re going here – twice again.

Take the Quiz by clicking on this link and find out if the beliefs that run your money bus are: Money Worship, Money Vigilance, Money Avoidance, or Money Status and you’ll find there are recommended steps to deal with each type.  Then call or email me and we’ll talk about the results in a 15 minute complimentary conversation. 

Poor Money Attitudes: How to Retrain Your Money Brain

My Money Attitude for much of my adult life was avoidance. Except for paying the bills and talking to our financial advisor once a year, I didn’t think about money much. I worked as an addiction specialist for over 20 years and was more focused on helping than how much money was coming in. Then I started a coaching practice, my husband will be retiring, and last year I became Certified as a Money Coach. Now, I’m VERY interested to know more about money and how I and others, think about, manage and especially mismanage their money. 

Here's a Quick Money Assessment:

Is your current attitude about your money more based on fear or peaceful?

Fear  ___ Peaceful  ___

Do you feel in control of your money? Y  N

Or out of control, overwhelmed?  Y N 

Do you actively manage your money on a daily or frequent basis  ? Y N

Do you avoid checking your balance? Y N  

If you’re 35 or older, are you actively saving towards retirement?  Y N

What I hear when I talk with clients is that our attitudes about money are all over the board – from total avoidance to obsessive worry.  Neither effective strategies for feeling good about our money or helping it grow.

I also notice that people are rather clueless about how to manage the money available. I was and who can blame us? What money management practices did your parents teach you? There are folks may look really good from the outside – nice house, car, pretty clothes, upscale lifestyle. But because I’m a Money Coach I see what goes on behind their financial doors – not so functional.  No judgment or blame – they’re doing what they believe they need to do to feel good about themselves.

Steve Repak’s new book: “Dollars & Uncommon Sense: Basic Training for Your Money,” suggests that retraining the mind is essential to changing your money habits and that it’s never too late. First he says you have to commit to wanting things to change, to be different.  So true, as the addiction author Ernie Larsen said, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Repak suggests starting with small changes –  instead of going out to lunch every day (can save 150.00 a month easy there) pack a lunch. Commit to reducing debt one card at a time. (Nothing new there.) And, this is my encouragement – stay focused on your financial goals, which means you need to have some to begin with. A good first step is to know where you’re at – income, expenses, bills, needs and wants.

Budgets and Diets: Restriction or Freedom?

Women spend $25,000 on shoes and in Britain L 133,000 on beauty products in their lifetime.*  Saving for retirement or saving period gets pushed aside with the “I want what I want and I want it now” pattern we consumers are so good at.

One of the biggest mistakes women say they make with their money is not saving enough for the future because they’re caught up in survival today. This is an interesting dilemma because by spending today and not saving for the future, the struggle is likely to be the same in ten or thirty years. Contrast this with one young woman, Kari, who considers herself a “money hoarder.” She started saving half her paycheck as a teenager. She finds it hard to spend money on herself, but she’ll be fine in retirement. There aren’t many Kari’s out there.

Putting ourselves on a savings plan feels the same as being on a diet. Yuk. We feel restricted, limited – it’s NO FUN. Or we feel we’re in jail waiting for a chance to bust out – shoe sale anyone?  According to Gary Becker and Kevin Murphy in “A Theory of Rational Addiction*” when you're struggling economically you’re unlikely to focus on long-term activities. The immediate is much more compelling.  

There’s a mind-set change that needs to happen to be able to have some shopping fun, while keeping in mind the long term goal of having financial peace in your later years. Just think about how good those shoes might taste if you’re trying to make it at 75 on social security alone.

*Daily Express Study quoted: http://tinyurl.com/2a2cvjw  Mail Online  http://tinyurl.com/67z36fd

* The Awesome Column, Joel Stein, The Times May 2012

Women in Business: Are you a Financial Innocent? April is Financial Literacy Month

April is Financial Literacy month – time to pull your head out of the sand and plunge into learning about your relationship with Money. Not just the numbers – how much you make or what you spend - butwhat goes on with your thinking and your feelings about money.

Inside you is the answer to why you keep repeating the same old money mistakes over and over again. Here are some money mistakes women make: Overspending, Not paying your bills on time even though you have the money, Financially enabling others and not taking care of yourself, or a big one for women in business; Not charging enough!!

You may be like I used to be: I hated thinking about money. But, I had an awakening when I went through the training to become a Certified Money Coach.*  I found out exactly why I had the challenges with money I’d had since young adulthood. Yes, it did have to do with the way my parents handled their money. Not their fault, their parents had influenced them as well, and I was still responsible for the choices I made. But once I connected the dots and became conscious, I was able to make better financial decisions and to create less stress and more financial peace. That’s huge!! .  (*Certified through Deborah Price & The Money Coaching Institute)  Next time: Find out What The Money Types Mean and how each type shows up in your Money Life.

Resuscitate the American Dream with Hope, Change & Personal Responsibility

Resuscitate the American Dream with hope, change and personal responsibility says Suze Orman in her newest book, The Money Class. The American Dream our parents embraced was one of living BELOW their means. This is a lesson we lost track of in the obsession for MORE that advertisers promoted and we indebted ourselves to (in oh so many Visa and MasterCard ways).

We need to not only rescue the American Dream as Suze says, but resuscitate it with the old virtues of hard work and sacrifice. Boring, and so not exciting as the lifestyles of the Kardashian's or Jersey Shores, but realistic.

Suze says, and I agree, that we must move beyond materialism – an empty value if there ever was one – to authentic happiness. But we Americans are programmed to believe that more money equals happiness. This is an illusion that lottery winners, for example, often realize too late. (Most are bankrupt or broke within 5 years)

I have a two-part question I ask at Money Workshops and trainings that comes from David Krueger’s book The Secret Language of Money.

1)    My current annual income is $__________________.

2)    In order to insure happiness and contentment financially, with no more money problems and worries, my annual income would need to be ______________________.

Most people answer #2 as being about twice the amount of #1. For example if #1 = $50,000, then to insure happiness I’d need to make $100,000. But once a financial goal is reached, what do we do? Set another goal and it’s often about twice the size of the first. When do we get to be happy and have financial peace?  

Let's create a new American Dream by educating ourselves about money and prioritizing what is most important and what we value. And, by the way,  a 2010 survey Suze cites by Charles Schwab & Co. says 75% of respondents understand that to create a new American dream, it takes hope, change and personal responsibility!!  That's true financial peace.

Winning the Lottery: Financial Peace or Pain?

Imagine it. You've just WON the Super Lottery and now have more money than you ever dreamed of. But, does winning create financial peace or pain? For too many it's pain. Most people that win the lottery are broke or bankrupt within 5 years. That’s because winning a bunch of money and financial wisdom don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Winning is really a set-up because our training in how to manage money, grow and enjoy our money in healthy ways is so lacking in our families and our school systems.

I was making a deposit at the ATM Thursday March 29th and there was a big line of people buying tickets for the lottery. A few years ago I might have been in this line also. But since I’ve been trained as a Money Coach the “money fool within” is less likely to run the show and imagine I’ll beat the 175 million to 1 odds of winning.  

Yet, of course, people do win the lottery. I say good for them, IF they can quickly learn how to manage their instant wealth. Unfortunately, that doesn’t often happen. In fact “*…70% of all lottery winners squander away their winnings…” in less than 5 years. This is the same problem that NFL players are notorious for having. Most are broke a few years after leaving professional football.

Why is that? The simple explanation is that when someone’s networth takes a radical leap upward their self-worth doesn’t necessarily change as well. We all have a financial comfort zone we operate within. Too many people will get rid of new money in an unconscious way to stay in their old financial comfort zone. What I want for new lottery winners is for them to educate themselves immediately about what’s happened to other winners so they can avoid the heart-ache of financial destruction. The key to financial peace whether you’re a lottery winner or not, is to learn about your relationship with money, your money strengths and weaknesses and the hidden pieces that create money problems so that you can make the best financial choices.  (*Read referenced article here: http://tinyurl.com/88zfryt) To get started read Deborah Price's book: Money Magic or David Krueger's The Secret Language of Money.

Women in Business: Work Backwards Formula to Achieve Bold Money Goals

Now that you’ve set your Bold Money Goal for 2012 and have it in writing (see previous blog: Set a Bold Financial Goal for 2012 /blog/  you'll want to use The Work Backwards Formula to make sure you get the results you want.

To Re-Set your Money Speedometer, which may have been stuck on the same old number for too long, means you have to examine WHY you want to make the amount of money you set for yourself. Your WHY tells you what your motivation is. (To know why your WHY is the most important thing you can do as a woman in business go to this youtube clip in the TedSeries by Simon Sinek:  The Golden Circle http://blog.ted.com/2010/05/04/how_great_leade/

Now, I know the economy has dampened, or for some, even smashed the ability to dream and envision. But we have to take our power back and stay focused on what we want (financial peace & freedom) vs. what we don't want (more financial struggle)  

To Start - Here are some questions to explore your WHY: This is where you get to dream and in order to be the most successful you must stay in touch with your dream and your purpose!!

Next, write down your BOLD Goal for 2012 :  $75,000 Gross

I want to make $_______ so that I can ________.

• ·      
• ·      
• ·      

 The questions you answered above are part of your vision and dream that will pull you towards your goal.

Now fill in these Work Backwards questions:

1)    How much do you charge your clients? The average bodyworker, for example, depending on locale, charges somewhere in the neighborhood of:   $75.00 an hour  Your hourly fee:  _________

2)    How much do you need to earn a month to earn $75K a year? $6,250 (75 divided by 12 = )

3)    How much do you need to earn a week to earn $75 K a year? $1445.00  (6,250 divided by 4.33 = 1436. Rounded up)

4)    How many clients a week do you need to see to earn $1445?  19 clients a week at $75.00 a client = $75,000 Gross Income

Now you have your work-backwards formula to earn $75,000 gross a year.  

Women in Business: What's Your Money Speedometer Set At?

If you're a woman in business you need to know what your money speedometer is set at. For example, are you stuck at a certain income level and don't know why? Usually it's because of stuck places within our emotional relationship with money we're completely unaware of.  Bob Burg, author of The Go Giver says: “Our relationship with money is like an iceburg: only the very tip is in plain sight.”  How do you find out what's under the surface of your money obstacles? One way is by figuring out where your $$ speedometer is set and re-setting it.  Here's how to do so:

First: Where's Your Money Speedometer Currently Set:* Most self-employed women's monthly income is up and down so take the 5 highest grossing months over the last 12 months and add them together and then divide by 5.

For Example:  Feb 2,000 March 2,200  July 5,000 Sept 3,500 Dec 1,200 = TOTAL 13, 900 divided by 5 = 2,780

This woman’s Speedometer is set on: $2,780 That means when she starts earning more than this a month she probably gets uncomfortable. That's ok, but she needs to understand why (This is where Money Coaching's 4 step system pulls back the covers and connects the dots between childhood messages and current adult money behavior - http://coachingmodesto.squarespace.com/money-coaching/)

Re-set your current money speedometer by creating a BOLD Financial Goal for 2012. This number needs to be uncomfortable enough that it makes you STRETCH, yet not so distant that it seems unreachable. 

For example my BOLD goal for 2012 is $84,000 gross sales. That’s not a number I pulled out of the air, but by looking at what I earned last year, and planning activities I would need to do to earn $50,000 net income minus estimated expenses.

Write your Bold Goal _________.  Then create a plan of action steps and strategies for how you’ll reach your Bold Goal by working backwards.  I’ll show you how to do that in an upcoming blog. By taking ahold of our money goals and knowing how to chart our financial future we create financial peace.

(* adapted from Kendall Summerhawks Money Speedometer work)

Massage Therapists & Healers - Set a Bold Financial Goal for 2012

  “Are you living your values, but not earning enough to live your dreams”, asks Lois Frankel, of Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich. As a therapist and “healer” I was stuck in that “I’m a healer so I can’t charge what I’m worth” illusion for years. This is a common problem for women in business who are in the helping professions. We have a black and white way of thinking about money and helping people.  If we are helpers then we believe we shouldn’t be focused on earning money. What nonsense. I’ve figured out there is a middle ground and we can have both – be happy healers with a bountiful paycheck.

Unfortunately, most of the therapists/healers I’ve known over the last twenty + years are crappy business women. Meaning, they don’t market their practices or treat their practice like a business. For example, as a massage therapist, family therapist, energy healer – do you have a business plan, a marketing plan, attend networking functions, join The Chamber of Commerce, pay attention to cash in and out flow, regularly do a balance sheet and a profit and loss at least quarterly? That used to be me, but I’ve found my inner business savy and it is blooming!!

One important step to break out of the old “I’m a healer, it’s not spiritual for me to make money” rut is to set a BOLD Financial Goal for 2012. Do that today and in the next blog learn where your money speedometer is set and how to reset it to match your Bold Money Goal. When we take charge of our money we create financial peace.

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Lynn Telford-Sahl, M.A. Psychology, "Certified Money Coach":http://www.lynntelfordsahl.com, helps women in business achieve their dreams by getting their money house in order. Lynn has been coaching, speaking & conducting workshops for 8 years and has a 20+ year background in counseling. Lynn is also the author of two books: Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom & The Greatest Change of All. Both books are available online at www.coachingmodesto.com. As an experienced "money coach for women in business":http://www.lynntelfordsahl.com, Lynn offers a FREE 15 Minute phone consult for any Money Challenge you are experiencing. (209) 492-8745 orlynntelfordsahl@gmail.com