Money Stress: 3 Tips to Feel Better

What’s the top reason for divorce? Money problems. And, money stress, is the number 1 stressor for 80% of Americans. Symptoms include:

Headaches, depression, heart attacks, muscle tension and back pain and ulcers and digestive problems.  Notfun.

But what exactly is stressing you about your money situation? Pick your top stressor:  Debt, lack of income, not saving enough, fights with your partner, just not knowing where to begin?

Tip 1: Talk About Money

Especially for women, talking about what’s really going on lightens the load and makes you realize you’re not alone.  As I give presentations about money to women in business I hear over and over about the struggles with money. Until we talk about what’s going on we FEEL we’re the only one.  Find a friend or family member to confide in. If there isn’t one available, I offer a FREE 15 minute consult (LINK HERE209 492-8745 or email me

Stress Busting Breakthrough Tip:

Tip 2: BREATHE  I know, I know. Breathing won’t CHANGE your money situation, but when the body relaxes the mind relaxes and solutions become more clear. 

Here’s How:  Exhale first. Breathe in the to the count of 6, hold for a moment and exhale to the count of 6. Take 10 breaths at least 3 x a day.  I’ve taught breathing as stress reduction for over 20 years and it’s the #1 most effective tip. It’s FREE, can be done anytime, anywhere.

Tip 3:  Create a Plan:  You have to start somewhere. Get the bill folder out, the credit card slips. Tally up what you owe.  Now you know. It may not be pretty, but not knowing often creates more anxiety. Next step? Figure out what you can pay weekly or monthly – better to pay something than nothing. is a terrific website for financial help. Feel a little better?

Can Women Save the Economy?

Remember Rosie the Riveter from World War II? Six million women strapped on their boots, learned a new skill and went to work building everything from ships to planes. Does the economy need that kind of determination, focus, creativity and strength now? 

This economic time is an opportunity for women to really step up into their own power. Women are super busy and often reluctant - "who am I to run for office, try for a management position, believe I can make $100,000 a year or more?" Women collectively struggle with self-worth and it shows in our expectations and our paychecks.

Right now America needs women to take the promises of the 70s feminist movement to heart and express those ideals in a very bold 2011 manner. Women can save the economy by starting businesses, (More women than men are today) and by hiriing other women and by applauding and supporting successful women rather than bashing them. Women can save the economy by making more money and encouraging other women to make ore money. And, as I shared with my cousin Kim Kelly ( who is a powerful woman and making plentyof money, by giving back to other women through donations and giving a leg up. For example, if you live in the Central Valley, the West Side Women in Action Business Conference is Friday Oct 7th ( WSWIA gives money for educational scholarships for girls and women in the Central Valley. Still accepting scholarship applications, by the way.

Kristen Gillibrand, a rising star in Congress, mother of two believes it is vital that women's economic potential be unleashed to bring the country out of it's economic malaise. "If women earned dollar for dollar what men do," she says, "it could raise the GCP by 9%. This affects every American family."

Supporting other women is not about not supporting the men. But, here's the thing - women have only been in the workforce in the numbers they are today, since the 70s. We're playing catch up financially, politically and in the corporate world. There is still a glass ceiling and when a woman breaks through, it's so important for her to mentor other women up the ladder. Every woman we mentor, support or encourage sends a message that women are valuable, worthy and important.  (*From USA Today article "Skilled, savvy women can rescue our sagging economy, Gail Sheehy, Passages author 8/23/11)

Guilt About Too Much Money?

I know it seems bizarre, but there are people who have a lot of money and feel GUILTY about it. According to Brad & Ted Klontz, Mind Over Money, "financial rejection" is a fairly common money problem. I know what they're talking about. I had a friend who received a large inheritance and within 3 years it was all gone. Why? She didn't feel she deserved it or had earned it. Having money rather than "working" and struggling for it was out of her comfort zone. There were issues with her parents tied up in the guilt she felt, but she didn't know how to access that unfinished business.
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Money Disorders Rooted in Unfinished $$ Business

Unfinished money business often gets expressed as money disorders such as financial denial, financial rejection, underspending (not that common) and money fear (risk aversion - Klontz - Mind Over Money) I understand the territory of denial, a trait that Deborah Price (Money Magic) says reflects the stance of the money archetypes "The Innocent," or The Creator-Artist." (I'll write about The Archetypes soon.)
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Financial Trauma - Can you Relate?

Have you gone through a bankruptcy, had to short-sale your home or have it foreclosed? How about a job loss or downsizing? Been re-hired at vastly lower pay and had to adjust your lifestyle drastically? Lost retirement savings or had to use to survive? How about the current global financial situation? If so, you may be feeling financially traumatized. Trauma can be defined as any event that "...causes emotional distress and pain." (Klontz, Mind Over Money)
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Americans Addicted to Bad Foods

Big surprise - Americans are as addicted to sugary, fat, fast foods today as we were to cigarettes 40 years ago. Since 1970 U.S. cigarette use has fallen by 57%. This is great news. But we're in big trouble with "bad" foods like soda, french fries, doughnuts and hyperprocessed snacks. This trouble is costing us hundreds of billions of dollars a year in obesity related illnesses.
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Greed or Fear Driving Money Decisions?

Is it greed or fear that drives most money decisions? Most automatically think it's greed. But is that true? What's the last big financial decision you had to make? Was fear or greed driving it? My guess would be fear. As a Certified Money Coach I talk to people every week who are making financial decisions out of fear - fear they will lose their home, fear they will lose the respect of others (or themselves) if they "short sale," fear about being able to pay the bills, the taxes they're behind on, fear, fear, fear. Of course, fear generates more of the same and stress
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Stress: Do One Thing Different

Can stress be addictive? What do you think? We get used to a certain level of pushing and making things happen. Stress becomes a comfort zone, of sorts. Uncomfortably comfortable. We hate it, but don’t know how to BE in life unless we’re running. We may feel bored, or out of sorts when life slows down or there’s some space. We look for ways to fill the emptiness rather than allow ourselves to replenish, let the body and our mind slow down and RELAX. Eckhart Tolle defines stress as “being here, but wanting to be there
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