Unfinished money business often gets expressed as money disorders such as financial denial, financial rejection, underspending (not that common) and money fear (risk aversion - Klontz - Mind Over Money) I understand the territory of denial, a trait that Deborah Price (Money Magic) says reflects the stance of the money archetypes "The Innocent," or The Creator-Artist." (I'll write about The Archetypes soon.)
We're going to look at financial denial today. How does one go through life without thinking much about money? Let me share: As a young woman I had no money, but always seemed to "get by." Well, I had a husband, that certainly helped, and I worked and went to school. I also paid my bills. But beyond that I never thought about money. It wasn't important and it was uncomfortable. I stuck my head in the financial sand and I was comfortable doing that for a long time.
How does financial denial originate? It's human nature to minimize or avoid problems that are difficult. Psychologically speaking, this is called a defense mechanism and is often fueled by ANXIETY. Of course, this doesn't make them go away and in fact problems that are ignored tend to get bigger. Look at the DEBT crisis of this nation and ourselves. This coping behavior can start with confusion about money from parental mixed messages - one parent overspends, the other super saves. Or like with me - being yelled at and shamed (traumatized) by asking my Dad a simple question about money.
Financial denial shows up like this: You don't talk to your partner about money - about the bills, a budget, planning, retirement. You avoid it or start a fight (I did both) as distraction, or you dissolve into a pile of tears. Effective in avoiding the topic, but not solving the problem. There's a saying in psychology - "whatever we resist persists." Bingo.
How do you get past financial denial? Do your money homework by being willing to change one step at a time, thinking about WHY you want your relationship with $$ to be different, and being gentle with the process of learning about, healing, forgiving and practicing new money behaviors. Tomorrow financial rejection and The "Creator-Artist."