Unfinished Money Business Causing Problems?

Do you make the same old mistakes with your money over and over again? Have you ever spent more than you should and felt guilty? Do you work really hard, but don't make enough money and wonder why? (Even before the economy went south?) Do you have someone in your life who is controlling with money? Or that you're controlling? Is your relationship with money secretive? Do you intend to save or pay the bills on time, but somehow....it just doesn't happen?

Most of us have unfinished money business because we're not taught, except by modeling in our families, how to manage not just the nuts and bolts of money - balancing the checkbook, paying the bills, having a financial plan, but more importantly, our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about money. Our relationship with money, for most of us, is unexplored territory and those thoughts, feelings and beliefs sit in the unconscious where they can cause a lot of trouble.

Here are a few questions to get you started gently pulling back the covers: Did your parents talk about money constructively or fight? How did you know? What's your first money memory and is it positive or negative? How does that memory affect your decisions today? What are a few of the automatic negative cliches or scripts about money that come to mind? Save for a rainy day, money doesn't grow on trees, the rich get richer....

In order to finish our money business, we have to start with willingness to explore and discover the personal and cultural money scripts in our lives. Dr. Klontz (Mind Over Money) recommends 1) recall the memorable experiences you've had with money - joyful and painful.  2) Write down a few words summarizing each event. 3) Write the emotion about each event - angry, sad, happy, afraid, hurt. 4) Finish with "The moral of my money story is.." As a Certified Money Coach I've done this work and it's shifted my money story dramatically. Time to get started.