Reflections About The Economic Scale of Life

When did you first realize where you sit on the economic scale of life? For me it was in high school after my parents divorced. My newly single mother found a job as a photographer for Sears. There was no extra money; barely enough for rent, bills and food. There was certainly no extra money for clothes. But, instead of feeling defeated or giving up, I felt challenged. My early entrepreneurial spirit had me handwriting flyers to let people in the neighborhood know I could babysit. And, babysit I did. I also learned how to sew and made a few A-line mini-skirts - remember those? My favorite was a lime green and I wore it often.

Until my 30s I didn't think much about where my husband Dave and I were on the economic scale. I was getting my masters degree in psychology and Dave was running a technology business. We were at an event at my husband's partners' home and I noticed they had money. It's easier to accumulate more money when one comes from money. They'd been raised in an upper middle class environment. Her dad was Richard Lyng, who later became the Secretary of Agriculture under President Reagan. His dad was the CEO of a large hospital in town. My husbands partners were very nice, very low key people, but it made me uncomfortable to be around them. I started comparing what we had and what they had. I felt envious of the neighborhood where they lived. My feelings were not caused by what they were doing or not, it was all a reflection of my discomfort with my inner relationship with money. That discomfort I felt back then is part of the divide that happens between those that have more.  I saw the indicators of success - money, prestige, a fabulous home, etc., and wasn't sure how to attain those or even whether it was important. After all I was heading into the helping profession of counseling, a profession generally not "into" making money. So, I stopped thinking about all that money stuff. 

A few years ago I started getting a handle on finances. This year zoomed me into a new place when I went five month training program to become a Certified Money Coach. All the denial and avoidance around money came back to the surface. VERY uncomfortable looking at what's hidden from plain view.  Looking at my stuck money places, forgiving myself and my parents their financial inadequecies and growing my money self up was painful and incredible. I can't encourage you enough to really shine the light on your RELATIONSHIP with money - not just the budget or the in and out flow, but how you feel about money, what it means to you, what your money history or story is. If we want to achieve greater economic equality in this world, we have to transform our emotinal stuff around money - our attitudes, beliefs and convictions around what money really means. A powerful journey.

Mature Enough to Make More Money - and Keep It?

I work with women in business who want to make more money. Some have what it takes, some don’t. How do we know?

A friend shared a story from T. Harv Ecker of Millionaire Mindset fame. He’s made a lot of money; from what I can tell mostly from teaching people how to make more money. 

He says making more money is sort of like ice cream. We have to be mature enough to earn the right to a double or triple scoop. You know how you take your 5 year old to the ice cream store and they’re all excited to eat ice cream. You're thinking one scoop is plenty. But then they see a 10 year old who has two scoops. Or grown ups with a banana split. Now they're not satisfied. They want two scoops. They throw a fit, but, you let them know that’s it. One scoop. On the way out of the store, plop goes their ice cream. "See, you tell them. You weren’t ready for more than one scoop." After a couple of experiences, they figure out what it takes to handle one scoop. Then they're ready for more.

It's the same with money. In the beginning of our life, we're not ready for more money. Most of us make lots of mistakes with money. We open credit cards, ring up balances, get into debt, overshop or overspend. We haven't yet earned the right to more money.

If we learn from our money mistakes, it matures us. We begin to understand our relationship with money and what it takes not only to make it but to keep it. As Robert Kiyosaki says, 'it’s not about how much money you make, it’s about how much you keep." Play his game Cash Flow sometime. It’s like Monopoly on steroids and very quickly demonstrates where you're really at with your money consciousness.

Financial maturity takes practice and patience. Enjoy and learn from your one money scoop until you're ready for two, or more.