Well, I have to toot my own horn and it’s not something I’m particularly comfortable doing. However, I’m thrilled that my application to speak at the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavorial Medicine (NICABM)at Hilton Head, S. Carolina in December of this year was accepted. This is the largest mind-body conference and the title of my presentation, based on Intentional JOY is: “Lite” Addictions: The Weapons of Mass Distraction. I’m excited and a little “freaked” out.
I recently combined learning with girlfriend fun time and attended a talk by John Gray, author of the Men are Mars series. His new book, Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, explains how and why stressedwomen get so cranky at 6:00 p.m. when they get home to their 2nd job (and see their men lying on the couch) and WHAT to do about it. (See article below for the newest research on stress, hormones – and activities & supplements you can implement to have more energy, resilience and happiness).
The first Men are from Mars book softened my relationship with my husband Dave and his with me. After reading the book together, I no longer thought he was a jerk for lazing on the couch. I knew he needed to retreat to his cave and I was able to cut him more slack. He learned to take my outbursts less personally and realized he didn’t need to “fix” whatever I was venting about. I have referred that first book to hundreds of clients over the years and still think it’s a must-read for new couples.
When Women are STRESSED & Cranky We Need to Give Ourselves Permission to Relax, Replenish and Feel Heard!
Women are in the workforce today like our mothers and grandmothers were not. We’re not just imagining that we’re more stressedthan men - we are. According to Dr. John Gray’s research from his latest book Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, women in the work world are at least 2x as stressed as men.
Work is about problem solving, urgency and competition which raise dopamine and testosterone levels for men and women. For men this is great. And, it’s ok for women, but work lowers the hormone oxytocin, which is produced when we’re giving or receiving care or love, and is a major stress reliever when our levels are full.
You know how men will respond with a “What’s the big deal” to our reaction, well, ok, sometimes overreaction to what looks to them like a minor event? Here’s why: when women are stressed there is 8X more blood flow to the emotional part of our brain than a man’s. 8 times!!! No wonder we get cranky and he doesn’t get it - we have different brain chemistry so they don’t understand our reactions.
As if you didn’t already know this intuitively, women’s minds are always busy – men can lay on the couch and let their brain fall out watching TV – and by the way they’re replenishing the testesterone that’s been depleted during their work day. (Don’t get mad at me – this is according to Dr. Gray.)
We already know women are more stressed than men at work.Then women come home to their 2nd job and see their partner lying on the couch and guess what happens to those stress/cortisol levels? That’s right -- through the roof.
What To Do To Lower Stress & Raise Feel Good Oxytocin Levels:
When we’re overwhelmed with life’s demands, do we blow the whistle, say “Time Out – I need a break?” NO – we lean in, get more determined to get the LIST done and guess what? We get even crankier. By then we’re totally out of oxytocin, the feel good hormone. What our body needs for us to do –is to receive, relax, have some fun, STOP and replenish those oxytocin levels by doing some of the following activities:
Talk to friends, or your partner, and feel HEARD (this is SO important), get a mani, pedi or your hair done, listen to music, make love, take a yoga class, sing, get a massage, read a book, ask for help (yes – that works also), take a walk in nature, laugh, arrange flowers, garden, go on a family picnic, lay in the hammock, stare at the stars, visit an art gallery, hang out with friends.
According to Dr. Gray, we need to do some of these oxytocin rebuilding activities every day. Why don’t we? We feel Selfish & Guilty if we put ourselves first. Here’s my coaching advice:Reframe Selfish to Self-LOVE and remember the old airplane adage – put your O2 mask on FIRST? Do these Self-Care activities and you will feel better – I’m off to visit girlfriends right now – ah…. I feel better already.
Come relax, enjoy, network and have FUN. There will be shoulder & foot massages, beauty treatments and networking galore!
Wednesday, June 23rd - NOTE NEW DATE!
6:00 – 8:00 p.m.
Turlock Chamber of Commerce
115 So. Golden State Blvd., Turlock, CA 632-2221
$10.00 Donation (Proceeds go to Women’s Scholarship Fund)
Bring raffle gift of your product to promote your business
(Mark your calendar for Oct. 1, 2010 – Annual Conference Date)
F.R.E.E. Do you find it difficult to remember to TAKE CARE of Yourself? Register for 7 ½ Tips to Turn Stress into JOY and you’ll receive a new 3-4 minute audio tip every couple days to remind not only WHY self-care is so essential to happiness and productivity – but HOW to do so.
This monthly seminar is for you if you’re:
- Tired but wanting to feel energized, joyful & alive
- Running so fast, it’s hard to catch your breath
- Stressed and searching for alternatives
- Experiencing physical symptoms related to mid-life such as fatigue, weight gain, anxiety/depression, memory changes
- Stuck & wondering how to re-gain a sense of purpose
Replenish, Relax, Laugh, Connect with like-minded women!!
Lynn will share traditional & body-mind strategies in the spirit of fun, exploration and growth.
Next Date: July 7, 2010
New location: 4037 Mountain View Dr. Hughson 95326 phone: 492-8745/505-2675
Time: 6:30 – 8:00 p.m.
Register: Callor (209) 505-2675
TRANSITIONS LIFESTYLE SYSTEM SUMMER CLASSES
When: June 7 – July 12th 6:30 – 7:30 p.m.
Where: 1317 Oakdale Rd., Ste 1120, Modesto, CA
Facilitators: Kelley Giaramita, RN, Carl Stange, Certified Hypnotherapist & NLP Practitioner
Call: 534-5408 to register
Fall classes for ages 10-17