How Much Money Is Enough for Peace?

A friend of mine has a saying, “If you want to know what you believe, look at what you’re experiencing.” So true. But many of us don’t want to look at what we believe or how we behave with money because we’re afraid of what we might find. And, we often don’t have a safe way of doing so. That’s where money coaching is helpful.

What we believe affects how much money we make, manage or or build for the future. For example, the overspender justifies her purchases with excuses - “Well, I’m not spending that much, I only shop at the dollar store.” The avoider doesn’t look at his bank account balance, or save for retirement because it’s too far away to feel real.

Our core money beliefs are ingrained deeply within. We have  we’ve stopped asking WHY we need to work so hard or acquire money.  But what money means to us is a key question to understand. Kansas State University and the Klontz Consulting Group show that How much money is enough for you? That’s a question I ask when giving presentations and the answer tends to be twice what they’re currently earning. When they reach that next goal? The new goal is – you see where we’re going here – twice again.

Take the Quiz by clicking on this link and find out if the beliefs that run your money bus are: Money Worship, Money Vigilance, Money Avoidance, or Money Status and you’ll find there are recommended steps to deal with each type.  Then call or email me and we’ll talk about the results in a 15 minute complimentary conversation. 

Just Like Overeating, Bad Money Habits Can Be Changed – There’s an APP!

Losing weight and keeping it off has always been tough. But bad spending habits can be just as challenging and destructive. Now there are Apps like Urge or Make a Habit, Break a Habit (see below) to make it easier to stay on track with behavior changes.

What kind of bad money habits do you have?  Are you an unconscious spender or compulsive shopper? Do you go to the mall and two hours later have bags of purchases and you can't remember what exactly you paid for them?  Are you a secret shopper? And, I don’t mean the kind that’s hired by Safeway to check up on their customer service. I mean do you sneak your purchases home when your husband is busy and hide them so you don’t feel guilty, or get grilled? Do you struggle to maintain a budget or is budget a word you haven’t yet acquainted yourself with?

Changing our habits is not for the weak willed. We need help. Like poor spending habits, food, weight and exercise habits have been particularly tough to change long term. But Behavorial Modification programs are getting positive attention again and are based on making small incremental changes that build progress over time. You may be surprised to know that Weight Watchers is basically a behavorial modification program and it’s one of the most effective.

For those of you that have a money problem there are apps like Lose It, or Make a Habit, Break a Habit which lets users choose the behavior they’d like to change, like shopping less, or Urge, which “prompts users to hold off on impulse purchases to hit budgeting goals.”

These Apps are exciting, cool and they work because they improve on the principles of good ol’ 12 Step Programs – support, feedback, slow steady changes and the good feelings that come with healthy change.  (The Perfected Self by David H Freedman, The Atlantic June 2012)

Budgets and Diets: Restriction or Freedom?

Women spend $25,000 on shoes and in Britain L 133,000 on beauty products in their lifetime.*  Saving for retirement or saving period gets pushed aside with the “I want what I want and I want it now” pattern we consumers are so good at.

One of the biggest mistakes women say they make with their money is not saving enough for the future because they’re caught up in survival today. This is an interesting dilemma because by spending today and not saving for the future, the struggle is likely to be the same in ten or thirty years. Contrast this with one young woman, Kari, who considers herself a “money hoarder.” She started saving half her paycheck as a teenager. She finds it hard to spend money on herself, but she’ll be fine in retirement. There aren’t many Kari’s out there.

Putting ourselves on a savings plan feels the same as being on a diet. Yuk. We feel restricted, limited – it’s NO FUN. Or we feel we’re in jail waiting for a chance to bust out – shoe sale anyone?  According to Gary Becker and Kevin Murphy in “A Theory of Rational Addiction*” when you're struggling economically you’re unlikely to focus on long-term activities. The immediate is much more compelling.  

There’s a mind-set change that needs to happen to be able to have some shopping fun, while keeping in mind the long term goal of having financial peace in your later years. Just think about how good those shoes might taste if you’re trying to make it at 75 on social security alone.

*Daily Express Study quoted: http://tinyurl.com/2a2cvjw  Mail Online  http://tinyurl.com/67z36fd

* The Awesome Column, Joel Stein, The Times May 2012

Women in Business: Are you a Financial Innocent? April is Financial Literacy Month

April is Financial Literacy month – time to pull your head out of the sand and plunge into learning about your relationship with Money. Not just the numbers – how much you make or what you spend - butwhat goes on with your thinking and your feelings about money.

Inside you is the answer to why you keep repeating the same old money mistakes over and over again. Here are some money mistakes women make: Overspending, Not paying your bills on time even though you have the money, Financially enabling others and not taking care of yourself, or a big one for women in business; Not charging enough!!

You may be like I used to be: I hated thinking about money. But, I had an awakening when I went through the training to become a Certified Money Coach.*  I found out exactly why I had the challenges with money I’d had since young adulthood. Yes, it did have to do with the way my parents handled their money. Not their fault, their parents had influenced them as well, and I was still responsible for the choices I made. But once I connected the dots and became conscious, I was able to make better financial decisions and to create less stress and more financial peace. That’s huge!! .  (*Certified through Deborah Price & The Money Coaching Institute)  Next time: Find out What The Money Types Mean and how each type shows up in your Money Life.

Massage Therapists & Healers - Set a Bold Financial Goal for 2012

  “Are you living your values, but not earning enough to live your dreams”, asks Lois Frankel, of Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich. As a therapist and “healer” I was stuck in that “I’m a healer so I can’t charge what I’m worth” illusion for years. This is a common problem for women in business who are in the helping professions. We have a black and white way of thinking about money and helping people.  If we are helpers then we believe we shouldn’t be focused on earning money. What nonsense. I’ve figured out there is a middle ground and we can have both – be happy healers with a bountiful paycheck.

Unfortunately, most of the therapists/healers I’ve known over the last twenty + years are crappy business women. Meaning, they don’t market their practices or treat their practice like a business. For example, as a massage therapist, family therapist, energy healer – do you have a business plan, a marketing plan, attend networking functions, join The Chamber of Commerce, pay attention to cash in and out flow, regularly do a balance sheet and a profit and loss at least quarterly? That used to be me, but I’ve found my inner business savy and it is blooming!!

One important step to break out of the old “I’m a healer, it’s not spiritual for me to make money” rut is to set a BOLD Financial Goal for 2012. Do that today and in the next blog learn where your money speedometer is set and how to reset it to match your Bold Money Goal. When we take charge of our money we create financial peace.

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Lynn Telford-Sahl, M.A. Psychology, "Certified Money Coach":http://www.lynntelfordsahl.com, helps women in business achieve their dreams by getting their money house in order. Lynn has been coaching, speaking & conducting workshops for 8 years and has a 20+ year background in counseling. Lynn is also the author of two books: Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom & The Greatest Change of All. Both books are available online at www.coachingmodesto.com. As an experienced "money coach for women in business":http://www.lynntelfordsahl.com, Lynn offers a FREE 15 Minute phone consult for any Money Challenge you are experiencing. (209) 492-8745 orlynntelfordsahl@gmail.com

Why Are Only 8% of Women Ready for Retirement?

Women control 51% of the wealth in America. I was shocked and pleased to hear that and yet many, many women I talk with aren't planning soon enough or saving anywhere enough for retirement. Instead what I observe is that women often don't want to think about retirement. And, while I understand, retirement going to be here sooner than we'd like to imagine.

Women are working very hard in their businesses, caring for their children, their families (including elderly parents). Who has the time to consider and plan how to make their money work for them?  When I'm coaching women in business I assess how much income they're earning, if they feel they're charging enough (often not), how their spending is, the amount of debt they are carrying and whether they have a 401(k) or other investment vehicle. 

Here are three things women need to do. And remember: "A man is not an retirement plan."Deborah Price, Money Magic

1) Just Start an investment account. The earlier the better. "For the first time, women in the work force full time are just as likely to have access to a 401(k) as men and their participation rate is as high as we've seen." Catherine Collinson, president, Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies. (Modesto Bee 2-5-2012)

2) Know what you'll need to replace your income in retirement and maintain your lifestye. Google retirement calculator, pick one and plug in social security, other income and expenses. This exercise is not as fun as going shopping, but when you're 75 and either don't want to work or are unable to, all those shoes or beauty products you're buying today aren't going to keep you warm or add to your income. But the $50.00 a automatically deducted each and every month can and will.

3) Take more risks. Women don't often take investment risks. I'm financially conservative myself, yet we want our money to work as hard for us as we've worked to obtain it. Women still only earn 78 cents on the dollar compared to men. We take time off to have children or caretake others. The really savvy women I know do take calculated risks. One of my friends has been a real estate investor for 30 years and built quite a retirement fund for herself. Here's to you taking charge of your money today so it works for you tomorrow!!

Women: 5 Steps to Get Money House in Order

If you're self-employed, an entrepreneur or career oriented you've got to get your money house in order.  I know, I know, it's nearly Christmas and you're crazy busy. But, I want to plant an important business seed for 2012 because it'll be here in ten seconds.  

In order to make the most money, have less stress, and achieve your full potential (financial is part of that) and have fun along the way, here are 5 Money things you need to do in 2012.*

1) Get Your Money House in Order:  Assess what's working well financially and what the challenges are. For example, let's start with the basics.  Are you making enough money? No? What do you think/feel are the 3 main reasons for this? Be careful about blaming the economy. I know it's a factor, but I also know many businesses that are booming - mine included.

2)  Know your Money Story: Especially if you're struggling to get to the next level financially and you keep bumping up against the same obstacle or stuck place. I can guarantee you that there's a hidden emotional piece in your history. Yesterday, while going through The Money History with a client, she realized that her "make do and settle" pattern came from resistance to becoming like her mother. A huge ah-ha.

3) Write down your goals for 2012. If you're self-employed and you have a goal of earning $25,000 or $50,000 net income a year, how many clients will it take each week and month to bring in that amount of money. The more specific you are (a spreadsheet is handy) the easier it will be to achieve. Look at your goals each day, visualize the end result as if it's already happened. Then take action each and every day.

4) Realize that you have a RELATIONSHIP with money. As Suze Orman says and I'm paraphrasing: "Women don't show the same care to their relationship with money, as with other relationships, because they have a dysfunctional relationship with money. What are your money dysfunctions: Overspending, debt, avoiding, underearning, not respecting your money so you don't take good care of it?  Identify THE major dysfunction and conquor it this year.

 5) Grow your Wealth: One of the biggest money mistakes I see women make (and I used to also) is to not grow their wealth. Women give too much time, energy and MONEY away to others - primarily children. If they don't they feel guilty. More money comes to us as we learn to respect it, take care of it, grow it. If you haven't started a retirement account or savings account (for emergencies - $1,000 minimum) make it a goal to start this year.

 *If you're in Modesto or close by check out my 2012 4 hour Business Strategy Session for Women). I do this workshop every year and at the end we do a Vision Board with your Goals and Action Steps for 2012)

The Financial Responsibility of the 99%: Time to Put Your Big Boy & Girl Money Pants On!

There is a shared responsibility for the financial condition of the world. The 1% need to share their money more equitably. The 99% need to educate themselves about money and take their power back, or perhaps develop a sense of financial power for the first time. There’s something I realized this year and that’s how ignorant most of us are about our relationship with money. I came to this ah-ha while going through a five month training to become a Certified Money Coach.

Now that I can see more clearly, because my financial blinders have been partially removed, I get how little the collective us really understands about money. What does money really mean to you? Fill in this blank. To me money means________.*  Most people say freedom or security. I like to add FUN. As a therapist/coach/business owner I’ve been interested in making more money, and read at least 50 books about money – how to make it, and make more of it, keep it, save it and manage it.  But there's a deeper meaning to money that remains hidden for most of us.

The anger that the 99% feel toward the wealthy 1% can be a positive anger if it gets channeled in healthy ways. Yes, legislation that favors the 1% disproportionately needs to be changed. But, the 99% also need to take financial responsibility for their money ignorance and lack of power. We need to educate ourselves and there’s no excuse not to because the information is available. In the last ten years, not only do we have books available about the nuts & bolts of money (budgets, making more $$, etc), but most importantly how to change our emotional relationship with money. That’s where the real juice is.

I gave a presentation about Turning Financial Stress into Freedom to a group of multi-level marketers last week. It was really fun. These are folks that still believe in the American Dream and who are hard workers, and goal and success oriented. But, they will only be able to achieve their financial dreams if they understand and begin to transform their understanding of how they emotionally react and respond to money.

Here are 3 things I shared with them that may help you:

1) Raise your money consciousness by knowing how much money YOU need (not your parents, your spouse, your kids, your best friend) to make you happy. Write down that number________.

Research shows most believe that to be between $50-70K a year.

2) What is your earliest money memory?** __________ How does that memory affect your adult relationship with money today?

One woman at the talk shared that as a child she would ask her parents for money and they always gave it to her. Now, as a sales person she has no problem asking for the sale or the check.

3) How did your parents feel, talk about or behave with money? How do the thoughts, feelings & beliefs you developed in your family affect you today? "Your relationship with money is not just about money, it's about everything. Everything you eat, drink, fear & buy." David Krueger

*David Krueger The Secret Language of Money ** Deborah Price Money Magic

The Secret Language of Money

If you've been reading this blog you know I've been expanding my study of the subject of "money" this year. We need to know how to manage our money beyond the nuts and bolts of budgets and retirement planning. Do you know why you have trouble getting past certain life long money patterns? To understand what's drives the bus of your challenging money behavior here's a story from "The Secret Language of Money" by David Kreuger MD.  Two anthropologists went to two separate yet identical ape colonies to live and observe for a year. After the anthropologists finished their year they compared notes. One had been accepted and assimilated into the colony, the other never was. They couldn't understand why - until one anthropologist admitted he had kept a gun with him. He never used it or showed it, but at some level, he knew it was there. The gun kept him from fully committing - it was his out.

Now, how does the anthropologists hidden gun relate to the story we make up and play out with money. Dr. Kreuger says our money stories are "the subconscious tale you tell yourself about who you are, what money means to you and what it says about you. Our money story isn't only about money. It's about everything." (Kreuger)

What does your money story say about you? Ask yourselves these questions:  1) What's the greatest annual income I can reasonably expect to earn?  $_____   2) What is the greatest annual income my money story will allow me to have?  $_____   Until you become aware of the story that lives underneath the way you operate with money, nothing will really change. Oh, you can create a budget, or tinker with affirmations, but I know from experience that until there's a deep inner shift created with awareness and new behaviors and practiced over time, your money story can't really change.  

Women - Put Your Big Girl Money Pants On!

Do you stick your head in the sand when it comes to your money problems? It's a common tendency. We think we can make something go away if we don't think about it. This is magical thinking which is how children operate. It's sad to say that sometimes we grown ups are so afraid of our financial circumstanceswe treat our money like a child would.  I get it - I have been there done that. But, it's time to put your big girl money pants on and look at exactly what's happening with your financial situation.

First, face the fact that your money problems will not get any better until you start dealing with them. Second, look at exactly what your bills are and your income. Then define your options. For example, a woman I spoke with this week has overwhelming credit card debt - not unusual these days.  I advised her to see a bankruptcy attorney to get advice about whether filing is in her best interest.  Another women I spoke with is just barely putting food on the table and she has teenagers that want new clothes. Understandable, but.... Teenagers can be part of their own solution. Don't give them all the gory financial details but let them know there isn't money for extras and if they want new clothes they can babysit, (I printed out flyers and distributed them in my neighborhood when I was 15), or yes, even work at a fast food restaurant. 

Women are smart, creative and full of incredible potential. If you know of a woman that's really good with her money, ask her to give you some mentoring help or support. Read to increase your awareness about how you feel about money, what your behavior patterns and beliefs are that support or limit you, and to know how to manage your money. Books I recommend include Suze Orman's Women & Money, Lynne Twist's, The Soul of Money, Deborah Price's Money Magic and Chellie Campbell's The Wealthy Spirit.  We women have got to take care of ourselves and taking control of our money is an important way to put those big girl pants on!!