Poor Money Attitudes: How to Retrain Your Money Brain

My Money Attitude for much of my adult life was avoidance. Except for paying the bills and talking to our financial advisor once a year, I didn’t think about money much. I worked as an addiction specialist for over 20 years and was more focused on helping than how much money was coming in. Then I started a coaching practice, my husband will be retiring, and last year I became Certified as a Money Coach. Now, I’m VERY interested to know more about money and how I and others, think about, manage and especially mismanage their money. 

Here's a Quick Money Assessment:

Is your current attitude about your money more based on fear or peaceful?

Fear  ___ Peaceful  ___

Do you feel in control of your money? Y  N

Or out of control, overwhelmed?  Y N 

Do you actively manage your money on a daily or frequent basis  ? Y N

Do you avoid checking your balance? Y N  

If you’re 35 or older, are you actively saving towards retirement?  Y N

What I hear when I talk with clients is that our attitudes about money are all over the board – from total avoidance to obsessive worry.  Neither effective strategies for feeling good about our money or helping it grow.

I also notice that people are rather clueless about how to manage the money available. I was and who can blame us? What money management practices did your parents teach you? There are folks may look really good from the outside – nice house, car, pretty clothes, upscale lifestyle. But because I’m a Money Coach I see what goes on behind their financial doors – not so functional.  No judgment or blame – they’re doing what they believe they need to do to feel good about themselves.

Steve Repak’s new book: “Dollars & Uncommon Sense: Basic Training for Your Money,” suggests that retraining the mind is essential to changing your money habits and that it’s never too late. First he says you have to commit to wanting things to change, to be different.  So true, as the addiction author Ernie Larsen said, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Repak suggests starting with small changes –  instead of going out to lunch every day (can save 150.00 a month easy there) pack a lunch. Commit to reducing debt one card at a time. (Nothing new there.) And, this is my encouragement – stay focused on your financial goals, which means you need to have some to begin with. A good first step is to know where you’re at – income, expenses, bills, needs and wants.

Mature Enough to Make More Money - and Keep It?

I work with women in business who want to make more money. Some have what it takes, some don’t. How do we know?

A friend shared a story from T. Harv Ecker of Millionaire Mindset fame. He’s made a lot of money; from what I can tell mostly from teaching people how to make more money. 

He says making more money is sort of like ice cream. We have to be mature enough to earn the right to a double or triple scoop. You know how you take your 5 year old to the ice cream store and they’re all excited to eat ice cream. You're thinking one scoop is plenty. But then they see a 10 year old who has two scoops. Or grown ups with a banana split. Now they're not satisfied. They want two scoops. They throw a fit, but, you let them know that’s it. One scoop. On the way out of the store, plop goes their ice cream. "See, you tell them. You weren’t ready for more than one scoop." After a couple of experiences, they figure out what it takes to handle one scoop. Then they're ready for more.

It's the same with money. In the beginning of our life, we're not ready for more money. Most of us make lots of mistakes with money. We open credit cards, ring up balances, get into debt, overshop or overspend. We haven't yet earned the right to more money.

If we learn from our money mistakes, it matures us. We begin to understand our relationship with money and what it takes not only to make it but to keep it. As Robert Kiyosaki says, 'it’s not about how much money you make, it’s about how much you keep." Play his game Cash Flow sometime. It’s like Monopoly on steroids and very quickly demonstrates where you're really at with your money consciousness.

Financial maturity takes practice and patience. Enjoy and learn from your one money scoop until you're ready for two, or more.