Addicted to Envy?

EnvyI received a Facebook announcement that a colleague of mine was going to be on TV in San Francisco. My stomach clenched with a jealous pang. My first thought wasn’t “Good for her!” It was: “That should be me.” Well, it has been – I’ve been on TV- but in that uncomfortable moment of envy, any success I’ve had in the past was completely forgotten as negative emotions overcame me. And, though I sent an email and said “Good for you,” I didn’t completely feel it. I took a few breaths, realized I had been sideswiped by envy, went into the emotion instead of avoiding it and soon was able to let it go.

negative thoughtsWe’ve all had those moments where one thought like the one I just shared takes us into a negative spiral that is hard to recover from. It’s common knowledge that we have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day and most of them are habitually negative. BUT, most of us don’t connect our thoughts to our feelings. The key to living JOYFULLY is to become aware of the normal human emotions of anger, sadness, fear and guilt that are constantly running through us and to know HOW to move into them safely. One of the paradoxes of the human condition is that the quickest way to rid of a feeling is to feel it.

12surfer.xlarge1For anyone with addictive issues, the downward spiral of thoughts and emotions can lead to relapse. I’ve noticed the most happy people in recovery have strategies to deal with the emotional ups and downs of life. LIFE happens – it’s how we grow – but that doesn’t mean we have to suffer. Suffering comes when we avoid or resist how we feel. Pretty simple and with practice we become more comfortable knowing that going INTO and riding the wave of our emotions leads to feeling better than complaining about them or blaming someone else.

(Next time:  7 Simple Steps to Feel Better Fast)